I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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