yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Your cock deserves a montage
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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