My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
