I just saw a hot homeless man
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
