OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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