so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
