O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
home. puking in laundry basket.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
