Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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