Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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