they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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