I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I want to have your abortion
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize