Cold hands, warm shart.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
