I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
