yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
