I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
did you just send me my own nude
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize