all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
This is my gift to your gina
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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