Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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