Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
