I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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