how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
