dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize