Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
