I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize