You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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