Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
