Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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