OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
