Is it because I queefed?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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