So drunk its hurt
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
