i was born a porn star she said
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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