Welp...herpes.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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