My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
