He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
