everyone is single if you try hard enough
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
