You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
