it's not cheating when I paid for it
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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