Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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