She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
