My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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