So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
That was an excessively violent trivia night
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
