WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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