I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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