I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
