How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Randomize
