I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
