I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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