Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
