wat bout pragnant strippers??
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
