I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
