And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
