Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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