Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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