Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
