I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
