do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
