What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I need to stop coming to work sober
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
