Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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