I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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